Burn me alive if I go back to normal

If you have found yourself here, know that you are going to hear opinions. Opinions of a privileged white male, who could never imagine what it is like to walk in the shoes of my brothers and sisters of color. Opinions that may offend, seem radical and unrealistic. Opinions that I believe need to be spoken. Opinions that may change how you see your neighbor. If you’re still on board, buckle up.

I stand in solidarity with my brothers and sisters of color. I recognize the systematic racism that oppresses people of color in our country. I recognize my part in it: both by my silent ignorance as well as my internal bias. A bias I learned by growing up in the broken system that I benefit from. The first step of combating racism each day is repenting for my part in it. I repent. Please forgive me. I have been listening and learning. I will continue to listen and learn. I see that without action, there can be no change in our culture. Words are not enough, but that is no excuse for silence. It is my privilege to be silent because the system does not oppress me, rather elevates me because of my skin color, sexual preference and religious leaning. I will no longer abuse my privilege with silence. I will continue to repent. I will also seek to DO justice. I believe love is an action, not a word, the action that will make all the difference in this fight for justice.

Black lives matter. You will not hear me say that all lives matter in a response to people of color begging the country to recognize that they are equal. All lives are not in danger, all lives are not oppressed. Black lives are in danger. Black lives are oppressed. If I say “all lives matter” as a response, l reveal the harsh reality that I am uncomfortable with black lives receiving justice and equality if it means giving up some of my privilege. When God calls his people to care for the alien, orphan and widow, you DON’T hear his priests calling back “but what about our husbands and sons don’t they matter too?”. It would be the equivalent of my wife asking “Trent, do you love me?” And I have the audacity to respond “ I love everyone sweet heart”.

Spending the last week diving head first into educating myself with resources from people of color and activists about our system of justice in America has left me angry and exhausted. I cannot un-see the things I’ve seen, un-hear the things I’ve heard or pretend that things are okay. And yet I will never understand the true depth of anger, frustration, hopelessness, tears or pleas of my brothers and sisters of color who have been living this reality their whole lives. I cannot begin to imagine. Therefor, although I do not condone rioting or violence, my focus MUST be empathy for my brothers and sisters of color. Rioting is the response of being unheard, and I’d say 402 years is a long time to be unheard as a people. After 40 days of quarantine people were protesting, spitting on cops, all while armed with their “2nd amendment right”. So I will keep calling out police brutality, oppression and the SILENCE that is TAKING THE LIVES OF PEOPLE OF COLOR instead of complaining about broken property. Property can be repaired and replaced. Lives cannot.

In a democratic state it is our duty as Americans to hold our leaders accountable. The system is broken, and I do believe our president recognizes that. However, I do not believe he is the leader who is fighting for a new system based on equality, justice, mercy and love. The first amendment demands that we as citizens protest our grievances from our government. America was founded through the (not peaceful mind you) protesting of a tyrannical system that oppressed them financially through “taxation without representation”. If our economy was worth overthrowing the government for, HOW MUCH MORE is the life of humans worth eradicating this broken, oppressive system.

I cannot get behind a president who uses the word of God as a prop, who utilized violence to clear out the front of a church so he could have his picture taken. Who continually lashes out verbally. Who refuses to accept feedback. Who’s entire platform is based around “sheltering” white America from any other culture who may try and challenge its privilege. My allegiance is not to America. My allegiance is to the kingdom of God, who calls me to care for the alien, the orphan, the widow. To fight for the oppressed and the marginalized. To DO justice to those who cry out for it. Give out mercy, and walk humbly with my God. This goes beyond a political structure for me. The God of the Bible does NOT promise me America as I know it. He DOES promise me that if I live my life loving Him with all my heart, soul and mind and loving my neighbor as myself, that his kingdom will come through me. A kingdom that cannot be overthrown because it is not of this world. It is subversive. It is upside down. The kingdom of God is my hope. I am called to trust the story. One where, when I filter everything that I do through love; giving as if my resources are limitless, being peace in the midst of chaos, and creating beautiful things, I become a more full imager of the God who made me.

Death is tragic, always. I do not want to minimize the lives lost on both sides of the protest line. Here is what I know, I am called to fight for the oppressed, to do justice. My brothers and sisters of color have been crying out for justice for too long. I believe God hears their cry. I believe God will use his people to bring justice. Justice that restores, not destroys. Justice that makes the bad things good. Makes the wrong things right. Makes the ugly things beautiful. God has spoken to me, I cannot un-hear it. His heart is breaking. Every action of injustice, every tear that drops from my brothers and sisters of color face. Every wrongly imprisoned body. Every tormented soul. Every child who lives in fear. Every mother who has lost their child. Every child who has lost their parent. GODS HEART IS BROKEN. Mine can no longer bear to ignore it. I am called to fight for the oppressed.

I am called to pray for those who persecute. So Mr. President, government officials, members of the police. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

If you have read this far thank you. I am on a journey, and by no means pretend to have this all figured out. I want to err on the side of grace. I want to see the best in people. The heartbreaking reality that there are people crying out, unheard, for justice in our country leaves me with no choice. Will we look back on our lives and know that we fought to make a difference, or will we look back and wish that we would have seen what was truly important?